Back to School & Bullying – Are You Living in a Coconut?
- Apr 2, 2018
- 5 min read
You have probably just finished spring break or maybe you're enjoying it now. It's spring time and everything is fresh and new. It is a time or rebirth, renew, rekindle. Some of you may feel as if you have just broken free of your chrysalis and are vibrantly flying through the air with laughter, excitement, and joy.
Unfortunately however, whether you are a student, teacher, employee, or co-worker, you may be feeling as if you are living in a coconut unable to break free of your nut (bully).
Are your friends from before abandoning you for other friends? When you are talking, do your friends cut you off, or pretend they didn’t hear you? Do your friends tell you that you are too sensitive? Do they mock your talk and scream out in class, “When are you coming out of the closet already?”, or “How gay are you right now?”
Are you being bashed on anonymous social media accounts? Do you feel like your being plotted against?
Sometimes it is difficult to know if situations are real or imagined. You may say to yourself, “Is it me? Did that person just hella shade me?” You might also think, “What did I do?” Or you might also start believing, “What’s wrong with me?” Well, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a victim of bullying and the people around you are brainwashing you to think things they want you to think. Keep this in mind: YOUR FEELINGS ARE NEVER WRONG. It is not your imagination, like it or not, your (fake) friends and the people around you are bullying you purposefully.
Here are 5 quick signs that you are being bullied:
Your personal space at school or work is being invaded
You’re sensory emotions are being triggered (bright lights, loud noise, dropping things)
You are experiencing physical pain (headaches, stomachaches, rapid heartbeat, sweating)
You are hurt by words whether the tone is harsh or positive even if in a joking manner
You feel a sense of hopelessness or defeat by the use of text or social media
You may even feel a little “nutty” because the people in your life, even friends (who aren’t really your friends) are making you feel uncomfortable, anxious, or causing you to doubt yourself or your memories of events that did or didn’t happen. Yes, that (nutty) or crazy-making behavior IS NOT YOU! You are being subtly abused which is causing you to withdraw, isolate, and live like a hermit inside your coconut.
Are You Living in a Coconut?
When we are feeling worthless, it isn’t because we think we are worthless. We weren’t born into this world thinking, “Wow, I’m born and I suck!” We have been brainwashed or programmed to think it and even worse, believed it, based on the living experiences we have had. If you hear enough times that you’re fat, ugly, stupid, a whore, a slut, a loser, then it seeps into your coconut like poison. You cannot eat a poison coconut and you certainly cannot live in one either. How do we get the poison out of our coconut?
Dr. Bria Bliss, best-selling author of Breaking Free of Bullying, states that, “All people acquire knowledge in various ways; however you must learn to embrace a new way of handling your fears and problems. You have formed a habit for facing your fears in a certain way. So not only will you have to get used to these new ways of coping, but you will have to practice them daily. You will have to break old habits and accept a new way of solving problems. In fact, you have to do something for at least sixty-six days before it actually takes root in your behavior.”
The more detailed strategies can be found in Breaking Free of Bullying, but in the meantime, use this five-step process that can help you detox the poison from your coconut and eventually break free from it.
Do this BEFORE you get out of bed in the morning.
State your higher power: “Dear Heavenly Father/Mother, Universe, Angels, Thank you for… (WRITE down 3 things that you are grateful for RIGHT NOW!)
I ask you to guard and protect me at (school, work, business) and keep (name of bullies) away from me.
List at least 3 positive qualities about yourself. Put your declaration under your pillow, so it is there when you get home.
As soon as you get home, retrieve your declaration. Go to a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for 5-10 minutes, take your declaration, and read it.
VISUALIZE: Think about your day. If anything did not go as you had planned, VISUALIZE (the most important part) how you would have liked for it to happen and feel those happy feelings. Do this process again before you go to bed.
Remember that you must be committed to doing this every day for at least 66 days so that it becomes your new habit as you Break Free of your bully. If you feel compelled, you can also take your declaration with you to school or work and do exercises #4 and #5 during your breaks. As you do these simple exercises you will begin to notice a shift in your energy. You will notice over time that like-minded people will come into your life. The people that were hurting you, are no longer there. You begin to feel happy and healthy with no physical ailments. That’s because the coconut has split open, and the poison has begun to seep out. Once the poison has completely depleted, you begin to break free of your coconut, and begin socializing again.
Once you break free and uncover the hard shell of your coconut, you realize the goodness inside. The sweet smell, the tasty nectar, and how useful the coconut is for so many more recipes. Now, while the coconut might not go well with macaroni and cheese, there are many foods and drinks that your coconut does compliment, such as cakes, muffins, shrimp, and cocktails. However, not everyone likes coconut. Some people despise coconut. The point is a coconut is a coconut. It will never be an apple, an orange, or a strawberry, but as long as it is nurtured with loving kindness and positive energy, it will be the best damn coconut ever!
You will never be like your best friend, your parents, or your favorite celebrity. You will only be YOU and that’s a good thing. So break free out of your coconut, and be the best damn you ever!
Dr. Bria Bliss has been an educator for over 20 years using Mindfulness in her teaching and coaching. She has a PhD in Philosophy Education and her book Breaking Free of Bullying is an interactive book written for children, teenagers, and adults who feel they are being bullied in some way or another. It can be purchased at www.MindfulYourLife.org
Patti Martin, PhD has been a feature writer for Splash Magazines World Wide for over 10 years and an elementary school teacher for 21 years. She is currently working with Dr. Bliss in ME training and strategies for the community. Her website www.MindfullYourLife.org offers various types of services including personalized readings, mindfulness and educational services.
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