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Why I Can't Get Out of Bed: Part II

  • Jan 19, 2019
  • 5 min read

Last week in the article Why Can’t I Get Out of Bed: Emotional Distress, I mentioned the need for support from our family, friends, and teachers and when that support is not there we are in danger of becoming susceptible to the three Deadly D’s: Dissatisfaction, Doubt, and Despair. These traits can manifest into a downward spiral of depression. I like to call this equation: Dissatisfaction + Doubt + Despair = Depression(3) or D + D + D = D(3) (Bliss, 2019).

Overtime, it is that Depression(3) which makes it difficult to get up out of bed and make use of the day. If we are not careful that depression turns into deep depression and we begin to identify ourselves as just a depressed person. When that happens, we sink deeper and deeper into that hole of nothingness. (If you or someone you know is in this state have them seek immediate treatment from a psychiatric doctor).

So, before we become fully submerged in hopelessness because we are lacking unconditional love from parents and support from others we must figure out how we can move past that blocked energy. As naturally creative creatures, we become blocked when that creativity is corked. As many know, a good bottle of wine needs to breathe, no matter the age, so no wonder you cannot get out of bed, you are NOT BREATHING! (More exercises on that later). One reason you are probably corked is because you are not living as you did when you were a child. Remember last week reading about academic play? What we played as a child fulfilled us spiritually and we were happy and spent most of our time laughing. Then sometime prior to teenage years it lessened more and more. So, let’s rediscover some things about YOU!

When you have a chance, reflect and respond

to the following questions:

  1. A great day was playing with my _________.

  2. Playing the game ______ was so fun!

  3. ______ was the greatest movie ever!

  4. My favorite instrument is the _________.

  5. Being kind to myself is ________.

  6. I would write _____ or make a ______ if I had…

  7. _______ music makes me happy!

Do any of your responses that you did as a young child in any way reflect your career now? If not, this may be one reason you are having difficulty getting out of bed. It goes back to the Three Deadly D’s I wrote about last week, that you are feeling about your career, school, or at home with mom, dad, spouse, or children.

I have begun to become more engaged with my younger self by actively seeking out activities that I enjoyed when I was little. Dancing, singing, and cheering is fun especially when nobody is home and I can scream my head off. I had forgotten how much I loved being around horses so when I had an invitation to the Santa Anita Race Track I jumped at the chance…even in the rain. Today I had an opportunity to sub in Kindergarten and it was so much fun! So, I say, “If you’re not jumping for joy, then do something else!”

Now about those breathing exercises…there are several that you can do: square breathing, location breathing, squeeze breathing. The great thing is you only have to do it two to five minutes anytime you feel stressed out or when you can’t get out of bed.

Squeeze Breathing: Lie on your back or sit down. With all your might, tense your body as hard as you can like UNCOOKED spaghetti for at least 5 seconds holding your breath. Exhale and let your body relax so that it feels like COOKED spaghetti. Do this exercise at least 3x.

Square Breathing: Lie on your back and use your television as the visual. Begin at any corner and use your finger to trace the TV. As you move across one of the lines of the TV, breathe in and hold for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 then exhale moving across another line of the TV and hold 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Continue to move around the TV at least 2x.

Visual (Location) Breathing: Think of your favorite place in the world and use your imagination to envision having the best time ever. If you find it difficult to imagine then find a photo, picture, painting, or drawing. Lie on your back or sit down and put your hands on your stomach. As you breathe out, make sure that your stomach protrudes out and hold for 5 seconds. When you breathe out try to do so for 5 seconds as you feel your stomach go back down. Smile as you do this and it will help you relax especially if you can remember a time that you enjoyed with loved ones.

Doing these exercises gets your blood circulating and it calms your amygdala. (We’ll talk more about our amygdala at another time). In the meantime, if you can’t get to the fun, then bring the fun to you. Puzzles, games, word searches, video games, cards, coloring books, or even arts and crafts can be done in bed. Now I am not offering these ideas so that you can remain in bed, but they are baby steps to get you motivated in a fun direction. It will be important that you do these fun activities with the TV OFF! In fact, do not turn the TV on at all because once you do it is even more difficult to get out of bed. (We will discuss TV and addictions in a future article).

If your depression is very intense have a loved one remove the TV from your room altogether. Hey you never know, if they do move your TV, you may jump up and down in anger on your bed! At least it got you up and out of bed! Next week we will talk about anger and how we can use it to motivate us. Until then, breathe life back into YOU!

The suggestions provided in this article are not full proof and they are NOT a substitute for medical or psychiatric care. I have a Doctor of Philosophy and I do not have a license to study, prescribe, or dictate medical or psychiatric advice. If you feel suicidal or have homicidal thoughts call 911 or use any of the links below to get licensed medical or psychiatric care.

If you or someone you know is in suicidal crisis contact:

1.800.273.8255

If you or someone you know are having homicidal ideation contact:


If you think you or someone you know might have a mental illness and you need help contact one or more of the following:

Casa Palmera – Del Mar (San Diego) Californiahttps://casapalmera.com/

or call 1.866.295.8541

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