Don't Complain...Explain: Breaking Free of the Bully Within
- Apr 2, 2018
- 3 min read
Raise your hand if you’ve ever complained. Of course, we’ve all done it. We complain about the President, our kids, parents, step parents, teachers, bosses, the traffic. We even complain about our sports teams, coaches, and fans.
What we need to do is shift from complaining to explaining what we want to happen because every time we complain, we not only weaken our potential and state of mind, we actually EMPOWER the things we are complaining about. Essentially, we become our own worst bully. To break free from the bully within be aware of your words and thoughts.
Luckily for us, our brains are programmed to reflect a negative v. positive behavior. So much like a white board, any mistakes we make with our thinking, we can erase. When you catch yourself saying words in an angry or frustrated moment you can erase it by saying, “Cancel, clear, delete.” Your brain will react in a positive motion which will channel to your body. You will immediately feel better and get a second chance to explain what you want to create in your life.
I find the hardest time to do this is when I am driving as I am not the most patient driver. I just like driving fast and want everyone out of my way which usually happens when I have a busy day or I am already stressed. Do you ever have one of those drives where at every turn you hit roadblocks?
You hit every red light. A driver makes a right turn in front of you and goes 2 mph. Someone ahead of you makes a right and not only does s/he not use a blinker, they can’t be bothered to move over farthest to the right so you can pass them, then they take 10 minutes to actually turn right. Are the use of blinkers now obsolete?
Those road blocks that we complain about so much seem to come up more and more when we are in that pissed off frustration where we literally scream over the radio, “FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK!” Yeah, I have had many of those moments. What I have learned about the road blocks, red lights, and cut offs is this:
1. They are direct signs that you need to calm the fuck down and BREATHE!
If we get into that place where we are so enraged and complaining about a red light, we clearly are not in a good place. Not to mention what we are doing to our blood pressure and heart beats.
2. The way we drive reflects how we conduct the rest of our life.
When I am so pissed, I have to stop and think about what is really going on. As soon as I can, I have to rewrite my drive so I can have a better day, especially if I have to meet with someone.
Two things I have done to help alleviate my impatience.
Program my favorite songs or motivational speakers into my phone for the drive
Sometimes, not always this shifts my energy into a better frame. It is always better to pull over and reprogram, than to fuel the fire. If you’re on the freeway you just got to scream it out and start over. Allow yourself to get it out, then cancel, clear, delete the event.
Challenge myself to see how many times I can say, “ABUNDANCE”
Saying, “Abundance” whenever possible helps me to move from complaining to explaining what I want more of in my life. When someone moves over out of my lane, I shout, “Abundance!” Every time I hit a green light “Abundance!” and so on and so forth. You pick the best word or phrase that works for you!
According to Dr. Bria Bliss, award winning author of Breaking Free of Bullying, "The more you are in a place of abundance and especially if you are shouting it out with joy, the more you will notice abundance in other areas of your life as well."
I still haven’t found a cure for the speed racer within me, but when I find it, I’ll let you know.
Dr. Bria Bliss has been an educator for over 20 years using Mindfulness in her teaching and coaching. She has a PhD in Philosophy Education and her book Breaking Free of Bullying is an interactive book written for children, teenagers, and adults who feel they are being bullied in some way or another. It can be purchased at www.MindfulYourLife.org
Patti Martin, PhD has been an elementary school teacher for 21 years and is currently working with Dr. Bliss in ME training and strategies for the community. Her website www.MindfullYourLife.org offers various types of services including angel readings, mindfulness and educational services.
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